Whatās the problem with addictions anyway
Cigarettes. Social Media. Alcohol. Sugar. Porn. Sleep. Food. Even travel.
Each of these actually feel great. Cāmon Iāll admit it.
Every time I get into these too much, I start to withdraw from them. Iām partially successful in doing so.
But itās not the success or failure rate that intrigues me. Itās simply my own original decision to withdraw in the first place. Why did I even try? If these things are actually great and a certain point of life is to enjoy and indulge then why stop?
Instead of trying to look-up answers, Iāll try to actually think of them myself. This is another way of saying āfrom here on Iām just speaking for myselfā. It may work for you but I offer no guarantee.
Point 1 is primarily about disgust. The tail end of addictive things is almost always disgust. Smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour or splurge on a big jar of chocolate all by yourself and youāll feel exactly what I mean. Contrast that to excessive workout, learning or reading. Sure I get tired but disgust isnāt what I associate with them.
Then comes the aspect of control or agency. Addictive things somehow snatch control out of you. I can remember waking up to the eagerness of the first smoke or having my fingers auto-pilot themselves to the āIā of instagram app sitting on a toilet seat etc. This snatching is so subtle that you never realize unless youāve placed hard stops on these things. And the underlying problem with losing control is the time and energy lost.
And probably the most important thing is the death spiral. Addictive things seem to have a very strong reinforcing loop. You can never stop at one or two. Some of you may argue that this is precisely the definition of addiction and Iām stating the obvious. But itās ok. Sometimes it helps to describe the thing in your own head and then validate it with the actual definition.
Thereās one more thatās coming to my mind. Addictive things make everything else feel more boring than they actually are. This sounds trivial but the ramifications are very hard-hitting. If Iām always seeking a high, Iāll never be done. But positive human emotions are generally owed to contrasts. You enjoy a nice break when youāve worked hard for a while. If youāre always on a break life will just feel pointless. A life without pauses and boredom will eventually make you feel fucking depressed because you cannot tell any emotions apart.
Now to ask the counter questions.
Could one stop at moderation and not go all the way to disgust? Could one exercise control and discipline and not relinquish control? Could one break the chain of addiction?
My guess is that it is. But by the very nature of addictive things it is a hard thing to do.
Anyway, last few words on this. My dumping of these thoughts online isnāt necessarily an act of seeking a finish line. Iām actually considering this is a small flag planted into the ground marked Youāve been here.
Maybe Iāll come back here next time Iām badly addicted to something.